My Kid’s Cuteness Sucks…

Posted by Kevin on Sep 26, 2012 in Daddy Issues | 2 comments

I had big plans for this morning. I’m talking huge. Like, change my world and yours type plans. I had my day all figured out as my Kuerig came to life at 6:30 this morning. Catching the morning news, sipping coffee and making notes for the day, all in a quiet house…everyone was asleep but me and the dog. I was excited. It’s a brand new day full of possibilities, and the fact that I was going to get sh1t done was increasing my caffeine buzz. I was grabbing the bull by the horns and not looking back! Yes, I was going to kick ass today! Then…

 

My kids woke up.

 

Suddenly I was engulfed in cries of “I want strawberry milk!” “I want to do it all by myself!” “Daddy, my cars are outside!” and “I WANNA WATCH MY SHOW!” as well as changing a diaper full of the remnants of last nights strawberry milk all while Jake and the Neverland Pirates blared on the TV. I was losing my buzz. The next hour was a blur of changing clothes, separating squabbles and Jake and the Neverland Pirates. (I swear, that damn show is on all day.)

 

I kept my sanitary, knowing that the all-powerful Gigi (my mother-in-law) was soon to arrive and whisk the kids outside.

 

“Honey, mom called and said she’ll be here around 10.”

 

Drat.

 

I cleaned the kitchen, and as I did, Roadie #1, my 4-year-old drama queen asked, “Daddy, can we go to the playground?”

 

“Not right now baby girl. Daddy has to go upstairs and work.”

 

Then, with a big fat quivering lip, she stuttered, “B-b-b-but, I don’t want you to go to work.” I replied, “It’s Ok, sweetie. I’m not going anywhere. I’m working at home.”

 

There was a gleam of optimism (or was it mischief?) in her eyes. “Daddy, why don’t you take your iPad to the playground. You can work from there! That’ll be a great idea!”

 

Double drat!

 

“Oh, she’s good!” my wife said as she walked out the door. Now it was my turn to stutter.

 

“B-b-b-but, I need to work here.”

 

“No daddy, you can work from the playground!”

 

Work at the  playground?!  Didn’t she understand what I had planned? Didn’t she understand that I had important, adult things to do? Even if she did understand, the all-powerful allure of the playground was upon her. And, the cuteness of her reasoning had disarmed all of my lofty ambitions.

 

So, I grabbed my iPad and both roadies and we walked to the playground for a morning making “pebble castles”, “pebble angels” and getting rocks stuck in our pants and shoes.

“The best laid schemes of mice and men
Go often awry…”

 

I couldn’t have planned it better.